Big Mushy Happy Lump By Sarah Andersen

Big Mushy Happy Lump (Sarah’s Scribbles #2)

Sarah Andersen

Rate: 3

Big Mushy Happy Lump wasn’t as funny as Andersen’s first book Adulthood Is a Myth. Most of the comics in the beginning seemed forced, as if Andersen created this second collection because the first was a hit and not because she was trying to get a point across. The comics get better in the end though when Andersen begins to tell longer stories using the comics instead of one-off jokes. The following are my three favorite comics from Big Mushy Happy Lump:

Number 1 Hype Team

Shopping Anywhere But the Clearance Rack

Admiring the Male Physique

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That’s What S/He Said Thursday #50

“You’re going to face many disappointments, my girl, and you’ll probably fail at something many more times. But if you keep going and don’t let it defeat you, no one is going to remember what you didn’t get done.”

– Mildred’s Mother, Mildred’s Resistance by Katie Cross

That’s What S/He Said Thursday #49

“You are my everything, the very breath I breathe, the water I drink, the food I eat, you are all that I need, all that I want, and all that I am, is yours.”

– Trik, Elfin by Quinn Lotis

That’s What S/He Said Thursday #48

“I’m the assassin and spy for the dark elf king. I kill without remorse. I live for myself and my own pleasure. I come from a dark people with dark hearts. How do you think she’s going to handle hearing that?”

“Who knows? I’ve never been able to understand humans.”

– Trik and Lorsan, Elfin by Quinn Lotis

Stuck in an Elevator: The Network Series

​Premise: Imagine you’re in a particular standalone or series world and absolutely had to be (because no one ever wants to be) stuck in an elevator with a character from that universe. Who would you most like to be in the elevator with? Why? What would it look like?

Book/Series: The Network Series

Person: Derek Black or Stella

Aside: For this to work, I couldn’t be living in The Network Series universe – because of the lack of modern technology. However, I couldn’t live in our current reality either – because of the lack of magic. For this to work, I would need to live in a realm with modern technology and where magic was present, but not everyone had magical capabilities. Kinda like the Harry Potter universe except less magic and no wands.

Reason: I’d rather be stuck in an elevator with Derek Black, Bianca’s father, because of how powerful he is supposed to be. Katie Cross writes Derek as a very powerful witch so he should be able to transport us out of the elevator onto one of the nearby floors without any problems.

However, if Derek wasn’t powerful enough to transport both of us out of the elevator, I would want to be stuck with Stella. Stella is known for her calming nature during tense situations so I feel like she’d be able to calm me down until we got out.

Possible Interaction: I’m not sure what either of these scenarios would look like, but I’m sure it would include them mumbling spells under their breath and me impatiently waiting to be released from the elevator.

War of the Networks by Katie Cross

​War of the Networks (The Network Series #4)

Katie Cross

Rate: 3

Twenty-seven chapters in this book and I’m going to focus on one scene towards the end of the book: the final showdown.

Throughout the series, Cross has positioned Bianca as a fierce, strong witch. With each book, Bianca’s physical and magical abilities increase and her knowledge of Miss Mabel’s behavior increases. At the same time, Cross positions Binncn’s dad, Derek, as the most powerful witch in all the Networks. Both seem capable of defeating Miss Mabel and yet at the end of the series, the secondary character (Derek) gets all the glory. And in a lackluster battle too.

I wanted a more epic final battle. I wouldn’t have minded Bianca’s dad beginning the fight, but I don’t think he should have been the one to finish Miss Mabel. I think Derek should have fought Miss Mabel to the point of exhaustion and right when it appeared that Miss Mabel was about to strike the finishing blow, Bianca would have appeared in front of her father and blocked the shot. Then, she would have moved out of the defensive into the offensive and brought her sword down like Sailor Saturn’s Silence Glaive decimating Miss Mabel.

That’s the ending to the series we deserved. But that’s not what we got.
Cross allowed Bianca her baby showdown with Miss Mabel while still placing her in the shadow of her father’s greatness. Why create a capable protagonist if you’re not going to use her?

War of the Networks wasn’t bad. I just wanted better.

The High Priest’s Daughter By Katie Cross

The High Priest’s Daughter (The Network Series #3)

Katie Cross

Rate: 3

What was this book about again? What happened? I don’t remember. That’s how memorable it is. If I told you what I did remember, I’d be spoiling the ending for you.

This book focuses on events occurring throughout the Central Network and along its borders that are bringing the network closer to war. During this time, Bianca mentally feuds with Angelina, the villain of this book, while physically doing nothing different. Bianca basically exhibits the same actions day in and day out until the end of the book. You’ll read a lot of words, but the story doesn’t progress much. I guess Cross is going for a more realistic timeline without many time jumps, but it makes the story drawn out.

The High Priest’s Daughter isn’t boring, but there isn’t much to gush about either. 

Antebellum Awakening by Katie Cross

Antebellum Awakening (The Network Series #2)

Katie Cross

Rate: 2.5

It’s been awhile since I read Miss Mabel’s School for Girls, but Cross does a good job of providing snippets of information to remind the reader what happened – Bianca and Miss Mabel engage in a Mactos (a magical fight) and Bianca’s mother ends up dead. Once the background is established and we get to the meat of Antebellum Awakening, I soon realize that the story isn’t going to continue on this interesting swing. Overall, Antebellum Awakening is boring and only gets interesting in the last three chapters. The story is predictable and Bianca exhibits the same self destructive behavior over and over which makes her an annoying protagonist. The story accurately takes on the pace of someone grieving the loss of a parent, but this doesn’t make for an interesting read.

My Likes

• Romance: It would have been so easy for Cross to commit the cliche and have Bianca fall for her instructor Merrick, but she maintains a professional relationship between the two. I’m sure this will change as the series progresses, but it’s refreshing that they don’t fall into insta-love.

• Showdown: Cross knows how to write a showdown scene. Similar to Miss Mabel’s School for Girls, Bianca and Miss Mabel engage in a fight. The battle is interesting and doesn’t seem repetitive at all – then again it’s been some time since I read the first book so maybe I just don’t realize that the scenes are similar, but I’m going to hope they’re different.

My Dislikes

• Bianca: Like I briefly mentioned above, I didn’t like Bianca because of her behavior. She acted in ways that prevented her growth and that was very repetitive. This book would have been a whole lot shorter if Bianca didn’t keep exhibiting the same regressive behavior. But I guess that was the point: to lengthen the book and express someone going through the grieving process. It was annoying though.

• Predictability: There’s really no big twist in Antebellum Awakening. I don’t know if Cross intended there to be some shocking moments, but the story is very predictable. I could see all the big decisions and actions coming from a mile away.

Overall, Antebellum Awakening is a decent story: boring and annoying at times and interesting in the end.

The Queen of Hearts Backstory You Didn’t Know You Wanted: Heartless By Marissa Meyer

Heartless

Marissa Meyer

Rate: 4

I’ve never read the original Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland so I’m not sure if or how much Lewis Carroll goes into the backstory of the Queen of Hearts so I’m not completely sure if Heartless is a retelling or not. Nonetheless, the story is good. I enjoyed watching Catherine’s descent into madness and I knew she had truly arrived when she began thinking “Off with his head.” A Queen of Hearts isn’t a Queen of Hearts until beheading is involved. Anyway, Heartless totally fits the Wonderland universe, at least in my knowledge of the animated and live action movie, and I totally believe these events could have been the actions leading up to Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

“I reject the jury’s verdict,” she seethed. “As the Queen of Hearts, I declare this man guilty. Guilty of murder. Guilty of thievery and kidnapping and all the rest, and for his sentence – I call for his head. To be carried out immediately.”

“For the murder of Jest, the court joker of Hearts, I sentence this man to death.” She spoke without feeling, unburdened by love or dreams or the pain of a broken heart. It was a new day in Hearts, and she was the Queen.

“Off with his head.”

The Queen of Oz by Danielle Paige

The Queen of Oz (Dorothy Must Die #0.9)

Danielle Paige

Rate: 2

The Queen of Oz tells the story of how Pete came to be. Let me save you about 80 pages of reading: Mombi is entrusted with the task of protecting and hiding baby Ozma so she decides to perform a transformation spell that goes wrong and turns Ozma into a boy, Pete. I don’t know why this detail couldn’t be added to the main story, but I guess since writing is a business, when you have the opportunity to write more and make more money, you do it, right?

The main thing I learned from The Queen of Oz isn’t even Dorothy Must Die specific: adults and teenagers need better lines of communication. Ozma wouldn’t have wound up in Glinda’s clutches if Mombi had been more open with Pete and Pete hadn’t succumbed to his “woe is me” hormones. Mombi didn’t have to immediately tell Pete his true identity, but she could have made it clear that there was danger. She also could have told him more about Oz and its political and social structure. I also think it would have been less suspicious to the general public if Mombi had let Pete out more instead of hiding him away. I think Pete would have helped the situation if instead of jumping to the conclusion that Mombi hated and resented him, he was more reasonable. There could be plenty of reasons why Mombi kept Pete isolated, but Pete figures that she wants free labor. Also, instead of trying to communicate with Mombi, Pete decides to run away, like how predictable. All over some chance encounter with a guy, how boring. This all shows that adults have to be more open with teenagers and teenagers can’t behave like the children they don’t want to be mistaken for.

Anyway, back to the novella. Unless your in the mood for an interlude of teen angst, don’t bother.